Unforeseen Consequences

If you do intend to scatter your phone with abandon across three lanes of traffic, ensure:

  • Your chosen vehicle places your unzipped pocket within 30cm of the ground.  Potential energy has no friends in this scenario
  • Your phone is primarily plastic (cheers Samsung!) rather than metal or glass
  • You hear the phone connect with the road surface
  • You happen to be passing a legend of a Glaswegian who, upon seeing the incident, is willing to sprint in his blue shellsuit off the pavement, dart between oncoming traffic, rescue the phone with a one-handed pick-up worthy of any star cricketing outfielder, and return it to you with a cheerful cry of ‘Dropped your phone, mate’

Successful achievement of all four of these warrants a victory pie from Greggs.

Excuse me whilst I tuck in.

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