If you do intend to scatter your phone with abandon across three lanes of traffic, ensure:
- Your chosen vehicle places your unzipped pocket within 30cm of the ground. Potential energy has no friends in this scenario
- Your phone is primarily plastic (cheers Samsung!) rather than metal or glass
- You hear the phone connect with the road surface
- You happen to be passing a legend of a Glaswegian who, upon seeing the incident, is willing to sprint in his blue shellsuit off the pavement, dart between oncoming traffic, rescue the phone with a one-handed pick-up worthy of any star cricketing outfielder, and return it to you with a cheerful cry of ‘Dropped your phone, mate’
Successful achievement of all four of these warrants a victory pie from Greggs.
Excuse me whilst I tuck in.
